Adventures in Nitpicking or Aliens Among Us 
WARNING!! (Appropriate) bad language used in this post!

So, I'm sure you're probably all sick of this by now, but I've learned something else about lice today, in my heebie-jeebie-inspired search of headlice forums. It turns out (and I'm actually surprised this didn't occur to me) that nits develop, too. It makes sense, doesn't it? When they're first laid, they're almost microscopic, and they fatten up and grow bigger as the baby louse develops within the egg. Bleghhhh. Seriously...fricking bleghhhh! So, I've been driving myself crazy, wondering why I keep finding new nits when there are no bugs left. The answer? They were there all along, but I just couldn't see them yet. Kind of like, "Theeeeyyyyyre Heeeeerrrreeeee!" (bet she had lice).  The lice shampoo says that it kills nits, too, but scientists (aka Jeff Goldblum in basically ANY movie) is saying that lice (and therefore their eggs) have developed a resistance to these treatments, which explains why the live lice I found in the 2 hours of nitpicking and careful combing after treating Charlotte that first night were still sort of staggering around, drunk and wondering where the hell their kegger went? I mean, they were pretty easy to get because they were really slowed down by the shampoo, but still - they weren't dead until I killed them by squishing the little fuckers with my fingernail. It's the old double-tap, so the zombie can't infect you when you think he's dead, but you really should have known better.  So, it stands to reason, that since the shampoo says it would kill lice and nits, and it obviously didn't quite do the job on the lice, some of the nits might still be viable, too. In fact, most lice shampoos say that they kill the lice, but NOT the nits, and that since you can't use it more than once a week, you should wait until the nits hatch, and kill them with a follow-up treatment once they're active, but before they develop enough to lay new nits. This is some serious zombie-apocalyptic-shit here! If you believe that all of the nits were laid at the same time, and will develop within the exact same timeline, you're sort of like the sheriff in those old zombie movies who saunters up halfway through the film, to assure everybody that "The worst is over. Nothing to see here, folks." In my limited zombie/alien movie experience, he's always the next to die, and deservedly so! But beware - there is definitely something brewing in Sigourney Weaver's belly, no matter how attractive she is! In order to really win the war against headlice, you've got to be more like that person who invariably chooses the seat behind me in the theatre making me pee a little every time she screams, "Behind you!" Since I found a total of 8 live lice, which were in various stages of size, (and I would assume) development, it stands to reason that some of the nits would be in different stages of development, as well. Think, people! When you get to the creature's lair, there are always a few pods bursting to hatch, and some just benignly pulsating in the background in time with the music, and our hero always seems to turn his back on the one that's about to open his eyes and become sentient! I mean, doesn't he HEAR the creepy music??? So, really, the best line of defense is the tried and true method of manually picking out the nits you find, every day, ensuring that none of them have a chance to hatch. WE MUST REMAIN VIGILANT!!! Otherwise, you may as well ignore the creepy man in the black hat, because it's just a matter of time before you figure out your house is built on a graveyard full of zombies.
Zombies that hatch.

Have I mangled enough movie metaphors for one night?
-Carla